So it’s been a bad few months since the almost-broke-a-toe incident, shit has gotten worse, of course. I waited an hour, got walked to the other side of the building for a consult and then waited so more before my doc could see me. I went to the doctors for a refill of hydrocodone, just hydrocodone. Bitch was all ‘I don’t want someone this young relying on drugs’ *eye twitches*
She said “The stym isn’t working?” It is working thanks very much but while it helps (oh baby does it help) it isn’t a cure all for me at least.
I was crying from pain, exhaustion, and a long delayed freakout. This did not help my case at all.
I just…. Durring a heat wave I was having problems (heat bad cold good for me weird I know…)okay I was so out of it I kind of left my foot in a bucket of ice for too long and MAY have gotten a touch of frostbite. I didn’t notice it really, the pain was less I didn’t’ give a damn about anything else. Anywhooo now it looks gnarly scabs where the blisters were from the cold and the water. Not pretty and not fun. But also NOT what I was there to talk about. I was there to talk about the RSD pain and instead she went on a lecture/rant about my negligence asked if I wanted to hurt myself like I intended for the frostbite to happen. Said I need to see my shrink more often.
Why thank you doctor obvious, I did try but instead I got waylaid by the massive amounts of pain you don’t give me enough hydrocodone to even take the edge off. The same unrelenting pain I had to use so much Ice to compensate for lack of medication.
The same hydrocodone she looked at me like an addict when I asked for more. I’m an idiot, I try and muscle through the pain most of the time, I use the hyrdo sparingly and only when I am beyond desperate.
Sure I was stupid not to go to the docs when I suspected mild frostbite but I could barely move at that point and having people poke and prod at me was not exactly an appealing concept. Truth told I didn’t even consider it until yesterday I was that swamped by pain. But I don’t’ think that was reason enough for my doctor to rant at me, say she obviously can’t help me, and proceed to kick me while I’m down. Because doing that is obviously the proper treatment for someone sobbing in pain *growls*
She said “This is the most dysfunctional I’ve ever seen you” or something along those lines it sounded like “utterly useless basket case” to me. Her face…. her tone…. I did not appreciate any of it. The one time I break down in 13 years and she writes me off as a nutcase hurting myself intentionally and a drug addict! I’m one pissed off RSD sufferer.
Now I’m off to have more people poke and prod at me. Wish me luck?
